Pain and bitter

I don't know where to start...

 

When someone been trough too much pains, disappointments, sadness, stress, frustration, and a lot, we literally forget what to say what to tell how to express when people ask you to be honest to your own feelings. Conversely, sometimes we insomnia, trying very hard to fall asleep but can't, feeling stress, that's the time all the real feelings popped out and completely haunt you. 

 

Yea I know everything happened so suddenly and I don't even have the chances to stop it. It's not easy to face everything with a smile, it's not easy to hide those feelings, it's not easy to be honest to myself, it's not easy to tell someone where's the problem. 

 

Count with my fingers, it's a actually have been 4 months plus. I don't even know how can I face these all things at one time but time flies. Everything passed just like a blink of eye, without any realizing. Feeling empty, not easy to handle. Anyway, I  have already reach here. There's no choice for me to choose to rest and give up. I have to stay strong and move on. 

 

It's really hard to deny this kind of feelings like, when you saw someone has that thing you 'ever' had it too. 

It's kind of hurts. Probably not jealousy, just a small envy. Because you can feel the feelings during you had it. Tears can't express anything, so I didn't choose to cry. 

 

Feeling really tired or even exhausted. Thinking of why those unnecessary unluckiness always channels on me like what did I done am I so doomed. Sometimes thinking that world is really unfair. Thinking of why I need to fight hardly and forcefully to get something meanwhile some of them they just put their hands up and they can get everything they want. 

 

I didn't blame. 

I understand I'm having these situation since was born til now. Seeing people being so ungrateful even already have it. I was born to be a fighter, not claim justice for the world but fight for my own, my wants, my needs. 

 

Always been through this like of problems like people keep on under delivering their promises. I'm too stupid and too quick to believe those promises made by others. I really care about the promises made by people, anyway I'm just too stupid to hurt myself to believe it. Promises are like fart.

LIE.

A kind lie is a lie. 

A small lie is a lie .

A big lie is a lie.

 

Yes we don't like to be lied, so don't make yourself telling lies as a habit. It hurts but only you don't know. 

 

But when it goes like this, what if you actually have to LIE to protect yourself?

What if you have to LIE to cover everything that you couldn't say?

What if you have to LIE to disguise your stress to others?

Undeniably true, I'm facing these kind of situation now. It's really uncomfortable to tell lies in the situation that you don't even want to but you have to. Deep down in my heart I really apologize to them. Someday I'll explain it all out.

 

Well, should I conclude that my teenage life is officially ended? 

Something terrible really happened. Right now my friends and I were far apart. I really miss them, no words can express how much I miss my friend. 

 

Friends are my supporter.

Friends are my clown, they make me laugh.

Friends are my life lesson, they teach me.

Friends are my happiness.

I really miss how we used to laugh and gossip about others. The moments we hangout and those times we celebrate each other birthday. It's a really sweet memories can never be forgotten. I really hate that something break us into far apart. I never doubt with my socialization ability but it's more comfortable to stay with buddy aka best friends. New environment really good but somehow you feel lonely though because we can't used to like before.

 

There's nothing more to regret now. Think properly, actually there's no any points and reasons make me go back to before. What I can do is just carry on. Yes I do believe that all the good one is waiting for in front. I'll just continue to fight and carry on. I want to show those look down on me "I CAN". Someday I want to reunion with my best buddies. 

 

Yes indeed, life is hard. Life full of difficulties. Life isn't easy. 

But difficulties and hardship determines who you are.

God puts those hardship higher and bigger than you is to make you a better person. 

 

Exodus 20:23 

This bible verse actually tells me a lot. It's from someone who really important to me in the past although now it's not anymore. I cried when I read this bible verse. It tells me that how god send his angel you guide you all way long on your journey. Praise the lord amen.

 

So I guess I'll stop til here .

Life story still continue. There's no end. Stay tuned.

Honey Oat Mask

Hi readers, I'm so glad to meet you guys again and I'm so sorry that it's been a long period I didn't turn up and update anything else on here. But no worries, here it is :) Tadaaa

Well, I'm going to share one thing to you today. It's my own DIY about the facial stuff, I've been using this method for a several months and it gives a very good work on my skin. Now I want to officially introduce my DIY stuff, that is honey oat mask.

First, you've to prepare three things:

- Oat

- Honey

- Water

Alright, it's cheap and easy to find in your kitchen tho. Besides afford the expensive mask from the Pharmacy or facial shop why don't you try a mask with low cost ingredients and it's completely made from natural. Before we go into detail, I'll explain to you why oat and honey good for our skins.

Oat:

- Oat has a very good skin lightening effects and helps on improve skin tones

- Oat is also knows as a very good exfoliating properties and it helps to remove the daily toxin from skin

Honey:

- An effective moisturiser

- Honey has antibacterial and antimicrobial properties which helps in healing

- Honey plays a role in protecting skin from ultraviolet damage

So I have some list out some of the benefits of the honey and oat. So now we should really proceed to the way of making honey oat mask. Here you are:

As I said I've mentioned just now, you have to prepare these three things:

Then comes next,

Note: Make sure your oat has been blended into powder

2. Put in some honey sufficiently (One tablespoon) *Depends

3. Pour in one tablespoon of water 

Note: Too much water will causes the mask becomes very watery 

4. Remember, stir evenly 

5. Apply it on your face, then leave it for 15-20 minutes

So this is the way to prepare the ingredients, it's easy right and low cost. Here is the some selfie of myself while doing the mask:

So I'll stop here today, hope the mask that I've introduced just now works well on your face. So have a nice day and happy trying :)

I know it looks ugly and disgusting, but after wash it you'll probably have a beautiful skin!

So I'be been using this for several months and surprisingly my skin turns into better. That's why I keep using it twice a week. Great things is worth to try.

So there is something you have to pay attention:

- Be careful when you do the mask on your bed, because honey is sweet it causes ants

- Remember wash your face clean after apply it

- Good to try, stop if your skin gets sensitive

So far there will be no problem for me because I can show you the evidence.

The pictures below 100% non edited :

Before 

So I'll stop here today, hope the mask that I've introduced just now works well on your face. So have a nice day and happy trying :)

Friends & Enemies

I'm back yooooooooooo! *Sorry for the late update.

You've almost lived for 10 years in this Earth and what kind of person that you ever discovered? Is it you think that everyone is kind, helpful and sincere? Or just everybody is bad like evil that until it's unacceptable? or you just don't care who surrounds you and live in your own zone? Predominantly, there are friends and enemies in your life. They almost live in your life, always and forever.

Before we talk about friends, let us take a look with a picture: 

What do you know much about friends? Did you ever ask yourself what is friend?

Is that:

-They more than family

-The one who you always share secret

-Your anger releasing machine

-You live to entertain them

-They need to entertain you 

-Just purposely for fame

-Sincere to them 

-Just a part in life, they'll thrown if already useless

-Helping each others

and more....

Actually, there's three types of friends in life. 

1. Fake friends

2. Sincere, forever and permanently friends

3. Hi-bye friends

Mostly, you are difficult or too late to realize fake friend is the one who stays the longest period besides you and they actually harms you eventually. They're just like making much troubles for you but they'll solve the problem by themselves. Fake friend spreads the venoms slowly and gently. They might not directly show their real side or attacking action in front of you, they do behind. That's why backstabbers are exist. However, what they'll probably do is trying to ruin your name and image in a lot of people's front without your knowing. Or maybe they near you because of some benefits and they're trying to steal and take it. 

Not everyone is bad, there's still good people in this world. True friends always be there for you when you've trouble. They do help or protect you. There must be several reasons that you set someone to become your best friend, the one who can be trusted. It's because of maybe you and him or her have the same thoughts constantly, same attitude, a lot of similarity, or you're his or her saviour when he or she is spiritually drain or simple again on the same boat always. Yes, everyone needs true friend. A true friend gives motivation, encouragement and love to us at the same time. 

Hi-bye friend is a kind of friend that you only says HI and leave and say BYE. It's just a temporarily friend, neither true friend nor enemies. Some of the people are wise to make someone that's unnecessary in their life as Hi-bye friend. Why does we make someone as hi-bye friend? Perhaps, you can't accept she or her in your life. Maybe he or she will harms you, bringing disadvantages to you? Or you just want to know her for a while and then no more. Kay, there's too much reasons becoming someone as your Hi-bye friend in your life. 

Alright, let us talk about enemy.

Yes, I do believe that everyone has their own enemies. We make it in a many ways, example like:

#When someone grab your lover, they're the target that you want to beat them down and grab back the things that you want 

#You're the top student in class and suddenly you lose because of your classmate's improvement and effort, you'll probably take that classmate as your enemy in your studies

#Someone take down your position, you'll take them as aim and want to shot them down and climb to the highest

Enemies are everywhere. They hate you, anti you and try to destroy you. Remember, "enemies are just like energy, you create them but can't be destroyed" So what you need to do is just ignore them or trying to reconcile.

No matter how, enemies will show their real feeling towards you. They just say out what they want,they're trying to hurt you, beat you and make you down. So do you get me now? It's better to thank the existing of enemies rather than fake friends rite? 

Alright, will be stopped at her for today. Have a nice day :) 

The holidays!

Hello to all readers! How're you guys? Hopefully everything will be okay :) 

Guess what! I just bought my new Union Jack T-shirt. Although it looks ordinary, like just a union jack flag on my white-plain T-shirt but it's hard to find Union Jack T-shirt for boys. So learn to appreciate everything that I have (Y) 

Randomly took some pictures during afternoon:

Monkey face or what? LOL

Smile, so that your enemies don't know you :)

UGH. Holidays, well you know, it's fucking bored! Stay at home whole the day and nothing to do. Sit in front of computer. Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Blogging. Recently, Facebook getting bored and I have no idea what should I do in Facebook. I just scroll there and here, viewing everywhere like an idiot. 

However, I just realized that Love Rain (Popular Korean Drama) is in my video file while I arrange my file and those stupid stuff in my computer. So I decided to spend my time on the drama. Kinda nice :) 

Mummy texted me just now and said " Go to prepare yourself and we're having dinner with your grandpa & grandma later" Without wasting any time, I rushed to bathroom and get myself prepared.Today's outfit, Union Jack T-shirt! 

 In the car, I asked mummy about where's the place that we're going to have our dinner and she said " the place that we never went before" LOL I just keep quite and no more words on my tongue. It takes too long to reach there. 10 years! .___. 

At last we reached the restaurant. 

So sorry to say that I already forget what's the name for the restaurant but it's located in Matang rural area. Well, the restaurant is reasonably well and clean! A quite place without those irritating vehicle sounds such as lorries or cars. Those sounds can make you not appetizing at all. Just saying HAHA :P 

But the foods, awwww. TASTELESS! 

Nice environment but the chef is not really good at all. All the foods are tasteless like there's no more salt on the earth. Kinda exaggeration LOL. The price, hmmmmmm... Just a few plate of ordinary meals and it costs almost RM300. SHIT :O 

Not really recommended restaurant. Forget about it LALALA.

 What the fuck! Something awful happened today. scroll down then you'll know.

SHIT. Someone send me this!

Actually the picture in the yellow box display at women's vagina. Besides this, that stupid stranger also send a lot of dirty and nasty pictures to my number. And HE SAYS THAT HE KNOWS ME! Fuck you jerk. I don't know you kay. See, I warn him.

0103752996! 

Stop sending me those nasty and dirty pictures please! I don't need it! 

HUH! People nowadays always do this kind of stupid things. Sending naked pictures or what to harm the others, threatening people and so on. LOL It's okay, police will solve everything. Hey guys, remember don't simply give people your phone number, IC number, home address to the people that you don't even know. Ignore them or just provide them fake information.

Okay. I'll stop at here for today. Goodbye :)

It's all about life

Hello people, readers, alien, ladies and gentlemen. I'm back again! Feel like want to update my blog here. Before I start blogging, I want to greet you guys first. How are you all? I'm getting flu here, owh so bad. Please take good care guys. Drink more water, the weather is changing not accurately nowadays.

I wish July can treated me nicely however, there's some bad news here. July destroyed my precious hair. My tears almost rolled out seriously, even tough it's not trying to cut my flesh, punch me with fist or whatsoever but this is just a hair cutting. 

You keep your hair for a long time and suddenly cut by the people that you dislike, feel not willingly and reluctant. You can see a lot of hair falls from your head, how did you feel? It's okay, I'm just put a smile on my face but my heart is full with tears. I wonder that why she just pretend didn't see anything on the others even they've already disobeyed the school rules, eventually I'm the victim. I feel fuck.

Seriously, I miss my long hair. 

Anyway, tomorrow will be a good day. Cheer up dude. 

Hair is a kind of living things, it can grow actually. But what we need to spend is time. Let the time flies, maybe spend a fortnight, 2 weeks or 2 months. Just let it be. I'm ugly and not photogenic in pictures again but things goes for temporary only. Everything will be okay :) Teeheee! SMILE 

Mummy decided to go to KL on this Mid of December for vacation. I'm glad to hear that, I never went to KL before. Okay, I admit that I'm sua ba lao. LMAO Because of the vacation, I started a plan, called "Saving weeks", it's mean I'm not going to spend a single Ringgit during recess time. 

Even tough this is the second day for my saving weeks plan, but I learned a lot of things. 

What I have learned is do not wasting our food in our daily life. Furthermore, I can know that money is really important for us. We're useless without money. This is what I learned. Did you guys expect me to talk more, hahahah! This is only what I learned XD 

No more holidays, no more enjoy. 

Start struggle for good results, a lot of tuition class nowadays. 

Life just like a racing competition, if you just sit there and do nothing then people will run over you. But I'm the person that running and stop a while for rest. This is me, actually I know what should I struggle for. I have an aim now, the aim is showing some improvement on my grammar and writing skills. I read 3 essays before off to bed, but seems like my writing doesn't improve intensively. I need to upgrade it! #Hwating 

Okay guys, I stop at here for today. Goodnight people!