Tears...

 I always tell myself "stay strong,cheer up,be fortitude,speak without fear! " 

But all of this words doesn't make sense . Yes , I'm really happy nowadays . I always smile and laugh in everytime and everywhere . The surface shows that my life really wonderful . But , in the fact , it's awful ... sorry :/

Last night , I reply someone message . After that I accidentally viewed my inbox . There were a lot of conversations between you and me .Some text made me happy and smile suddenly , but majority words hurt me . So ridiculous ! I told myself that stopped reading the text but I'm attached by the stupid temptation . I was attracted :(

Yeah , whatever ! I cried last night . I'm still numbed and my tears rolled out non-stopped . My heart was pain and felt like just pressed by someone . I'm so tired . I can't slept last night . Some text I kept reading again and again ...

A lot of peoples that think that I'm so stupid , childish and whatever that were not satisfaction criticize because we hurt our wrist with knife . Yeah ! I'm really stupid . All of you always told me that spoke out your difficulties that you will felt better . Yes , I told everything but can you all helped me to solve it ? This is totally funny ...

Even though I didn't use knife but I'm using correction tape . I'm lazy to explained how to use it . I guessed all of you knew it . Yes , the pained really made me felt better . I cried terribly . In that moment , that's not me . I changed another person . I'm totally mess up ...

If you missing someone a lot , he or she will appeared in your dream . Because of that dream , I'm so self-abased . I can't accepted the dream . Whatever , you thought that I'm really stupid and childish but never mind . As long as I still loved you . 

Yes , my appearance really annoyed . I'm so much different compared to other boys . Yes , there's nothing to be self-abased . I was born not to be perfect . Fate were limited . Maybe we should created own path right now . I think this is the best way to settled everything . Yeah , I really annoying for you . We're doomed .

" To love is risk not being loved in return ,

  to hope is to risk pain , to try is to risk failure ,

  but risk must be taken because greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing... "